From the Rabbit Hole

Nearly 10 months ago I awoke from a dream with the vision of a snowy white rabbit emerging from his den buried in a grassy knoll. He stared at me with his crystal blue eyes and shared words of wisdom. They weren’t really “words” you see, for even in my dreams rabbits cannot speak, but his message was loud and clear in that muted language of dreams. This little fluffy friend from the flower freckled hills of dreamland shared secrets to a loving relationship and his insight couldn’t have been more timely. It had arrived you see when a numb void replaced where my heart once pulsed furiously and it had ached for months for resuscitation, for some type of stimulation. He revealed that there are three ways to accept and support love in a relationship.

1) Emotional Stimulation – where each side of the relationship allows the space to express themselves then listens with a open mind and clean heart. This is when and where we openly cry, laugh, even argue and know that with every emotional release, unconditional support is on the other side. Moms express this when their child cries inconsolable tears and lovers experience this when after a heated argument a simple embrace tames all the emotional beasts.

2) Mental Stimulation – this is the energy and capacity to feed each other’s intellectual bucket. Often heard disguised in expressions like “we’ve out grown each other,” “we don’t share the same interests” and “he/she doesn’t understand me,” if we consistently drain without replenishing the well of intellect relationships dry out and crust over with resentment. As every counselor and psychologist would coach, communication is the key. Even sharing the smallest most insignificant event in our day could be the key to unlocking doors to challenges of a loved one.

3) Physical Stimulation – Human beings simply cannot thrive without touch. If we lost our sight, or the ability to hear or taste, we would eventually compensate with our other five senses, but by blocking our capacity for physical touch we shut down, become paralyzed and isolated in our own bodies. The longer we go without a warm hug, a longing kiss and oh yeah when we speak of our mate, great sex the harder it is to find the pathway back.

Imagine these three forces attracting towards each other like a magnet until they form an equilateral triangle – perfectly balanced and pulsing like a heart beat as it grows. Dream bunny then went on to add that in the center of this equilateral triangle rests our love of self, our spiritual presence. As we love ourselves more, the center expands and along with it our ability to physically, emotionally and intellectual stimulate our relationships. In contrast, if one side of the triangle were to become longer or shorter due to extraordinary demands and expectations then we become unbalanced and our sense of self love distorts and diminishes.

Immediately after waking, I grabbed the pen and note card next to my nightstand and drew a quick sketch before the dream faded. I’ve shared this vision with a couple close friends and had “intellectually stimulating” discussions of its meaning. Today I read a short passage in Iyanla Vanzant’s book Until Today, speaking of the same three components of peace in a loving relationship and remembered the dream again. I imagine somewhere in dreamland Iyanla and my white rabbit are sipping tea and toasting to my enlightened soul.